Count Your Many Blessings

This Thanksgiving was definitely different from last year. Last year we were home with family, but this year it was just the two of us. I would have made a nice dinner, but I was scheduled to work and we aren't allowed to request holidays off. So here we are at Cracker Barrel stuffed with turkey, stuffing, and rolls. It wasn't the most traditional way to spend the holiday, but we were together and that's the most important thing to me.

As everyone knows, thanksgiving is a time to think of all the things you have to be grateful for. Growing up I remember sitting around the table and everyone stating something they were thankful for. This year I had an experience that really opened my eyes and my heart to a whole new level of Thanksgiving....
Not only did I have to work on Thanksgiving, but I had to work the day before. The day started out just as usual but was changed abruptly when one of my patients coded. (for anyone who isn't in the health care field that means that the patient stopped breathing/heart beat stopped and needed CPR) There were people every where, yelling to do this, do that all in an effort to save a life. I was shaking and scrambling to make sure I was doing everything I could to assist in the effort. The paramedics came and continued on with what we had started all while getting them out the door to the hospital. I was trembling from head to toe and the adrenaline was ebbing slowly and I seemed to blur back into my charge nurse duties. Later on in the day, I called the hospital to get the news. The patient didn't make it. I guess the news wasn't really a shock because as we labored to bring the patient back you just knew it was already too late. I was able to finish the rest of the day, but on my way home I completely lost it. I was shocked and sobbing. It happened so fast and all of the usual questions sprang to the forefront of my thoughts "did I do enough?" "was there something I could have done differently?" "did I miss something" "had I always treated that patient kind enough and not like they were just one of many?" I will never know the answers to those questions. And after all of my thoughts settled some, I just started to count my blessings. I had a wonderful husband waiting for me at home, that made me laugh until the sadness of the day melted away. I have a home to go to, a bed to sleep in and wake up in. I woke up on Thanksgiving morning just grateful to be awake and breathing. Grateful that I had a job to go to after I woke up and clothes to put on to go to work. Grateful for the close family and friends that have done more for me than I can ever repay.
The Church hymn just kept playing over and over again in my mind "Count your many blessings name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Count your blessings...name them one by one......
I am grateful for you....